Chapter 3

I Dare You To “True Love”

Have you heard of Ironman Triathlon?

When you do an Ironman, you swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and then run 26.2 miles—in that order. If you are starting from scratch, you need at least 3+ years to train for an Ironman.

Your love and marriage journey is like an Ironman:

If you do an Ironman without enough training, you’ll end up in the hospital, or worse. Similarly, if you rush into love and marriage without any emotional training, you could end up hurt or lost.

Here is my challenge to you: I dare you to train your heart while you read this book, so that you can acquire the skills you need to experience not just love, but true love, in shā Allāh [5].

Imagine that you are an archer. Your target—the bullseye—is 120 yards away, the length of a football field. If you line up your arrow and release the trigger, what are the chances of you hitting your target?

Not good. Why?

Because of gravity, when the arrow reaches the target, it will hit below the center or miss the target completely.

What do you do then?

You aim higher to increase your chances of hitting the bullseye. Because anything worth doing is worth doing well, and also “good is the enemy of great.” [6]

I’m not talking about perfection. Forget that. What I am talking about is excellence—iḥsān [7]. Excellence is not an accident. Excellence means you proactively say “no” to Mr. Wrong, so you can say “yes” to Mr. Right when he shows up in your life.

In order to aim high and train your heart, there is only one requirement as you read this book: Don’t chicken out when you see an action item. I’m serious! If you do each action item, you will learn the skills you need to get to You 3.0, in shā Allāh.

Ready to begin? Bismillāh.

Take Action: Get a pen.

Take Action: Which step do you think you are at right now? Circle that step below. (This book is Step 1)

If you accept my dare to train your heart in this gym of love and marriage, if you dream of experiencing true love, then turn that dream into a goal. A dream is a hope, a fantasy, a wish; but a goal is a dream with a deadline.

Take Action: Set a goal to finish this book.

In shā Allāh, I will complete this book by

Take Action: To get the most out of this book, I want you to:

Now, this book is called Does that mean love is a mistake? No. Love is not a mistake. However, because love is such an overpowering emotion, it takes us by surprise.

That’s why we fall in love, not rise in love. It’s not always in our control. We can definitely get hurt if we’re not careful.

This book will help you experience love to its fullest extent, without falling into any of its many traps, in shā Allāh.

Before we dive in, here is the big picture of the book:

Love Mistakes 1, 2, and 3 → protect your heart.

Love Mistake 5 → heal your heart.

Love Mistakes 4 and 6 → prepare your heart.

Of course, I won’t leave you hanging by just talking about the mistakes. I’ll share how you can prevent the mistakes in the first place. More importantly, I’ll show you how to remedy the mistakes if you have already made them.

Either way, I’ve got you covered.

[5] in shā Allāh = God willing

[6] Collins, Jim. (2001). Good To Great: Why Some Companies Make The Leap… And Others Don't.

[7] “Allāh prescribed that we do everything with excellence.”